Today Is Your Day
reviews (3)

I am so excited to be writing to you personally again after so long.
First I want to apologize for the delay in releasing new music. Music is the basis of our relationship, after all, and I realize I'm not holding up very well on my end of the relationship! But music has a mind of it's own, and is ruled by a writer's emotions and state of mind, not by a time frame or wishful thinking. I wish like crazy that I had new music by now since I dream of how fun it would be to see you all again out on tour with new songs to sing, but as most of you know, I have been side-tracked slightly over this past year.
As many things as there have been to write about through this difficult time in my life, healing is serious business and has taken a lot of the wind out of my sails, slowing me down at times. As you know, I am a mom and all my energy goes to making sure my little man is healthy and happy in every way. This is a full time job, as any parent understands, but especially difficult when you are battling your own personal crisis at the same time while trying to spare your child of being affected by your own suffering.
One time when I was having a weak moment listening to some sad music and sobbing and slobbering over my computer’s keyboard, Eja walked up behind me and asked me why I was crying. He wasn't sad at first--just totally surprised to see his mom crying (he is seven and never saw me cry before), and didn't know what to make of it. During this intense period, I was managing to hide my devastation from Eja and cried only when I was alone; but this one time was just too hard for me to control and I broke down. I was quick on my feet to answer him though and told Eja that music was very powerful and can make people quite emotional. It can make you want to dance, feel angry, happy or sad and that THIS this song was sad and made me cry. He accepted this, hugged me and went back to what he was doing. Phew, that was tough!
The energy it has taken me to deal with my personal life and managing to still be a responsible parent has been challenging, and while I have been putting what energy I have left at the end of each day into my writing, it's been hard to put it all together into song format.
The other day I started writing a few pages about being hungry as a kid. Some of it was painful to think about but it also made me laugh at the funny times. Reflecting on that period of my life, I realize how true it really is to learn to take the good with the bad. To appreciate that you can't have one without the other. The trick is to give the "good" at least as much of your energy as the "bad" and not to get stuck focusing more on the "bad". I decided to start writing about other stages of my life to help take my focus off the current phase I'm going through. When I'm feeling down, I figured changing my focus to write about other periods of my PAST would help pull me out of the sadness and on to new chapters in my life. It works.
Love,
Shania
www.fanclub.shaniatwain.com